Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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