I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You can't special order awesome
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You pole danced in your parka.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
