mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
