Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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