Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
