I am puke
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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