Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

how do we leave politely?

(1-316): View more from Kansas

Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.

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(520): View more from Arizona

you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.

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(440): View more from Ohio

By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(352): View more from Florida

My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.

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