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• (310): View more from California

  I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble

  (1-310): View more from California

  Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  splinters make it hard to masturbate

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (415): View more from California

  Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"

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• (714): View more from California

  Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck you.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."

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• (310): View more from California

  Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist

  (209): View more from California

  what is your life

  (917): View more from New York City

  Free champagne that's what

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• (914): View more from New York

  You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.

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