Non-Jews are for practice
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida