I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Found the puke drawer
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize