She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
