he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
