Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
