weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
