Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
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She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.