Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.

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  (917): we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer. http://tfl.nu/ibyr
  Replies (20) Good night (3643) Bad night (1479)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.

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  (515): Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn. http://tfl.nu/kzr9
  Replies (28) Good night (886) Bad night (5322)
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  (516): View more from New York

  is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?

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  (516): is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon? http://tfl.nu/8edy
  Replies (45) Good night (5530) Bad night (627)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.

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  (912): you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler. http://tfl.nu/cu8r
  Replies (9) Good night (4425) Bad night (605)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.

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  (770): i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises. http://tfl.nu/q0zn
  Replies (52) Good night (6614) Bad night (1664)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.

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  (216): the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again. http://tfl.nu/jfz7
  Replies (6) Good night (745) Bad night (3492)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"

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  (817): This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here" http://tfl.nu/277o
  Replies (9) Good night (3400) Bad night (1288)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.

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  (413): I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say. http://tfl.nu/z11c
  Replies (46) Good night (1957) Bad night (5313)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle

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  (423): Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle http://tfl.nu/m7ud
  Replies (7) Good night (2019) Bad night (730)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME

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  (443): EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME http://tfl.nu/5t87
  Replies (2) Good night (1995) Bad night (688)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.

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  (314): Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back. http://tfl.nu/xqdn
  Replies (4) Good night (1097) Bad night (305)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen

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  (412): with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen http://tfl.nu/zqf6
  Replies (6) Good night (853) Bad night (404)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists

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  (902): We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club (902): The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists http://tfl.nu/vl5e
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (273)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?

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  (612): Did you put pizza in my boxers last night? (1-612): I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day? http://tfl.nu/wnhf
  Replies (0) Good night (326) Bad night (585)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.

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  (505): So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused. http://tfl.nu/omzp
  Replies (1) Good night (220) Bad night (305)

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