and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire