Texts From Last Night

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  (562): View more from California

  trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"

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  (562): trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander" http://tfl.nu/pjq1
  Replies (20) Good night (3437) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Who wears a wallet chain?!

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  (203): Who wears a wallet chain?! http://tfl.nu/1rec
  Replies (40) Good night (653) Bad night (2448)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.

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  (843): I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter. http://tfl.nu/3aqn
  Replies (6) Good night (2792) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors

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  (760): double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors http://tfl.nu/3oh4
  Replies (10) Good night (3746) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  it's like russian roulette but with a penis

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  (480): it's like russian roulette but with a penis http://tfl.nu/nnes
  Replies (12) Good night (2574) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out

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  (970): went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out http://tfl.nu/unz9
  Replies (16) Good night (1232) Bad night (6084)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar

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  (580): I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar http://tfl.nu/19bx
  Replies (6) Good night (1034) Bad night (2104)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers

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  (248): I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers http://tfl.nu/q3tc
  Replies (7) Good night (2167) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.

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  (360): Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover. http://tfl.nu/pu5x
  Replies (4) Good night (865) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.

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  (615): i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at. http://tfl.nu/fdq1
  Replies (2) Good night (1777) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.

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  (570): If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes. http://tfl.nu/for0
  Replies (8) Good night (1926) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.

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  (814): BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team. http://tfl.nu/tfzh
  Replies (2) Good night (1494) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg

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  (519): Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg http://tfl.nu/646r
  Replies (6) Good night (812) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.

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  (512): I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland. (1-512): I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies. http://tfl.nu/m9ig
  Replies (5) Good night (1105) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.

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  (716): nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart. http://tfl.nu/xzee
  Replies (1) Good night (634) Bad night (267)

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