Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms