is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
