hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize