Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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