I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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