Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
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The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
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Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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