You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
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Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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