Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
