ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
