I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
