I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
