Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
