Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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