After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
