It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
