get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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