this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
