then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize