So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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