how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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