i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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