i don't plan on having that self control this summer
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
