You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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