your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
