Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
