Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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