Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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