well I can't set my house on fire every night
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
soo... how was my night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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