Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
