They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
COCAINE IS GR8
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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