That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize