Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
