this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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