y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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