What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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