Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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