I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
