if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
