New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
