But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
