Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
