As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
