But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
