Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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