I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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