According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
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Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
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I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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