real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
