I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the day after is always just damage control
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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