I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Those nachos came to me in a dream
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
