I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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