We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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