I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
