I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
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She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize